why i'm not sure why

Is the 4th day the hardest? Or the 5th? the 10th? Why do people start blogs and then disappear off the face of blogdom? How soon the thrill is gone. Hey, at least we start. Just how many pristine journals do you have sitting on your bookshelves or in your closets? I have my share, for sure. Blogs are no different. I subscribe to one writer's blog. She's smarter than most--she posts only once or twice a week, and it's short. And readable. Now that I'm at day 4, I realize how soon boredom can set in. What's so special about an ordinary day? Only today wasn't so ordinary. It was pretty astounding--so astounding that I'm not even sure what the import is. And I'm not ready to talk about it. It's one of those days that I have to process first and talk about much later, if at all. So what went on today in between my email to lucy (where I pondered "why i'm not sure why") and watching 30 white tailed deer jump over my fence in the light of the full moon? I'm not ready to say...

hibernating this winter
in an emotional minefield
i live in a house of mirrors
and clean them everyday
too much going on
too many nodding heads
why i'm not sure why
drop in and read
(you're welcome)
back and forth
welcome, now go away
don't say anything
I'm not sure why
show up and listen
leave
a handful of people
make no promises
why i'm not sure why