I got over myself. For a few minutes, anyway. I figured that since I'd managed to come up with a response to the #reverb10 prompts for 11 days running, I could get past my non-commitment and sign up, for Pete's sake. So now we'll see how committed I stay for the rest of the month.
Establishing a new habit takes how long? 21 days? Once I get past day 31 and start using my own prompts or begin gathering them from new sources, I'd like to keep up the daily, or mostly daily, postings. I've been inspired by my friend Marushka, who took a blog challenge several months ago and has kept it up almost daily ever since.
One of the issues I deal with--and I'm sure I'm not alone in this--is public versus private. Do I really want to air my private thoughts in front of a bunch of faceless strangers? When I write my Morning Pages (as in, Julia Cameron), I let my thoughts flow without restriction. I'm used to writing a bunch of whatever in order to get to something, so I have a hard time editing myself from the start, and that's what posting to my blog feels like. I've spent most of my life editing myself in various ways, so it's probably time to let it go. I mean, really, who cares? And people, faceless strangers and all, would probably rather read genuine rambles rather than edited junk. (See? I just edited myself again.)
The other night I was struck once again by what Francesca says in the letter to her children in the movie The Bridges of Madison County: "It's hard to write this to my own children. I could let this die with the rest of me, I suppose. But as one gets older, one's fears subside. What becomes more and more important is to be known--known for all that you were during this brief stay. How sad it seems to me to leave this earth without those you love the most ever really knowing who you were." Not that my family will ever read my blog or my journals. They'll probably pitch them out with the long underwear. But, I do want to be known to someone. I think we all do. And when we reveal even a hint of our deeper thoughts, others are reassured that they're "not the only ones" who think that way. Or they're challenged by my thoughts. Don't we all need to be challenged on occasion? I know I do.
Another reason/excuse I've had for not posting very often in the past is that I'm usually "written out" by the time I sit down at the computer. I try to do 3 Morning Pages every day and at bedtime I write in a mini journal, where my goal is to sum up the day in a minimum of 3 words. I may skip the longer writing, but I never skip the mini journal. I'm amazed to see how those 3 words have captured the year when I reread all 365 entries at once.
Okay, enough rambling. Time--no, past time--for the Morning Pages. Should have done them first, but, well, you wouldn't be reading this if I had.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Things
Reverb's Prompt-a-Day Blog Challenge
December 11 – Things. What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)
1. Undervaluing myself. I am worthy, talented, and creative.
2. Heartburn. I am so over it. (I wish.)
3. More stuff. I'm ready to do some major pitching. Nix on more storage bins.
4. Procrastination. It's time to check some major things off my To Do list. As soon as I can find it. First thing I'm going to do: the Living Will.
5. That bin on the closet floor with the old towels in it. And I was saving them for what?
6. The weeds in the St. Francis garden (so named because of the generic statue). Time to reclaim that beautiful, shady space.
7. The rest of the daylilies. Why get rid of them, you ask? Because the deer eat the buds before they bloom anyway. Might as well let someone else enjoy them.
8. Small thinking. I want to make wide brushstrokes in my life this year.
9. Waiting for Godot. I've wasted way too much time over the years waiting on someone else to make a move, or for something to happen. Next year, I'm taking charge, every chance I get.
10. Dust. I will banish it on a regular basis, and give up wishing it won't come back.
11. Indecision. Another form of procrastination. I'm going to quit wasting time studying a decision from 45 different angles before tossing a coin. If I make a less-than-perfect decision, I'll look at it as a learning opportunity.
Wow, look at me. I came up with 11 things and put them down without spending too much time trying to come up with "the perfect list." See, I'm getting there. But I'm sure glad next year isn't 2050...
Friday, December 10, 2010
Wisdom
Reverb's Prompt-a-Day Blog Challenge
December 10 – Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)
What is wisdom? Merriam-Webster's online dictionary defines it as:
I think the synonyms sum it up pretty well: wisdom is judgment (of a course of action) based on knowledge and insight. I've made a lot of decisions this way in the last twelve months, many of them important, so it's hard to choose just one.
The first big one was to stop. In order to start healing my esophagus and digestive system, I stopped thinking that I could eat and drink whatever I wanted and keep my health. I quit listening to the big food industries and started paying attention to my body. Slowly but surely, it's healing. I'm eating a mostly vegan/macrobiotic diet and adjusting to life without wine, cheese and tomatoes. Oh, and chocolate. Sigh!
The second major wise decision was to give up. I gave up the notion that I need to have a physical office space in order to be a professional. I quit renting the space I'd had for four years as of July 1. The amazing thing is, the second I voiced the idea that I might do this, I had two offers of free space in which to hold my writing groups. Without the pressure of meeting the monthly rent, I began to feel the seeds of creativity breaking open. Stay tuned.
The third flash of wisdom was to hibernate. After five years of facilitating two writing groups on a weekly basis, I'm taking several months off. Hiding out. Resting. Aging in a vat of creative juices. Hopefully, at the end of this process, I'll say it was a very good year, and a wise decision.
December 10 – Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)
What is wisdom? Merriam-Webster's online dictionary defines it as:
1 a : accumulated philosophic or scientific learning : knowledge
b : ability to discern inner qualities and relationships : insight
c : good sense : judgment
b : ability to discern inner qualities and relationships : insight
c : good sense : judgment
I think the synonyms sum it up pretty well: wisdom is judgment (of a course of action) based on knowledge and insight. I've made a lot of decisions this way in the last twelve months, many of them important, so it's hard to choose just one.
The first big one was to stop. In order to start healing my esophagus and digestive system, I stopped thinking that I could eat and drink whatever I wanted and keep my health. I quit listening to the big food industries and started paying attention to my body. Slowly but surely, it's healing. I'm eating a mostly vegan/macrobiotic diet and adjusting to life without wine, cheese and tomatoes. Oh, and chocolate. Sigh!
The second major wise decision was to give up. I gave up the notion that I need to have a physical office space in order to be a professional. I quit renting the space I'd had for four years as of July 1. The amazing thing is, the second I voiced the idea that I might do this, I had two offers of free space in which to hold my writing groups. Without the pressure of meeting the monthly rent, I began to feel the seeds of creativity breaking open. Stay tuned.
The third flash of wisdom was to hibernate. After five years of facilitating two writing groups on a weekly basis, I'm taking several months off. Hiding out. Resting. Aging in a vat of creative juices. Hopefully, at the end of this process, I'll say it was a very good year, and a wise decision.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Party (or as Ed Stivender would say, "Party, Party, Party")
Reverb's Prompt-a-Day Blog Challenge
December 9 – Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid)
Today I attended a party like no other: the annual Christmas gathering of the Women Who Write Loudly, a group of women who have been writing together weekly for more than six years. There were nine of us. The food was simple and delicious, the mimosas sweet. We wore whatever we were in the mood to wear. No one tried to outshine anyone else. As we talked and noshed, everyone listened and was heard. There was no mindless chatter, like you hear at many social events. Most talk was about changing life situations, and touched on the spiritual. We laughed. We cried.
A group member who hadn't been around in a while was there, and it felt as though she had never been gone. This is a group like no other. Not because of special chemistry, although that is definitely a factor, but because of deep commitment and honesty. The Women Who Write Loudly won't be gathering weekly like we have in the past, but whenever we gather in the future, we'll be just like we were before, only more so. I feel privileged to be a member of this group, and honored to have led it for four of the six years. Thank you, WWWL. You rock!
December 9 – Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid)
Today I attended a party like no other: the annual Christmas gathering of the Women Who Write Loudly, a group of women who have been writing together weekly for more than six years. There were nine of us. The food was simple and delicious, the mimosas sweet. We wore whatever we were in the mood to wear. No one tried to outshine anyone else. As we talked and noshed, everyone listened and was heard. There was no mindless chatter, like you hear at many social events. Most talk was about changing life situations, and touched on the spiritual. We laughed. We cried.
A group member who hadn't been around in a while was there, and it felt as though she had never been gone. This is a group like no other. Not because of special chemistry, although that is definitely a factor, but because of deep commitment and honesty. The Women Who Write Loudly won't be gathering weekly like we have in the past, but whenever we gather in the future, we'll be just like we were before, only more so. I feel privileged to be a member of this group, and honored to have led it for four of the six years. Thank you, WWWL. You rock!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Beautifully Different
December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)
What do I do that lights people up? Maybe my dry wit, which I learned from my father. What makes me different? My head is usually in the clouds, so I'm seeing things differently, or I'm just seeing things.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
What do I do that lights people up? Maybe my dry wit, which I learned from my father. What makes me different? My head is usually in the clouds, so I'm seeing things differently, or I'm just seeing things.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Community
Reverb's Prompt-a-Day Blog Challenge
December 7 – Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)
I am in a community of writers. We write for the love of expressing ourselves, and to find out what we didn't know we knew. Over the years, this community has grown, shrunk, grown again. In 2010 I connected more deeply with two specific groups of writers, and I hope to continue those connections next year. Since I am taking some time off in 2011, I am open to exploring ways to stay connected online, not as a substitute to writing together in person, but as an outgrowth.
December 7 – Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)
I am in a community of writers. We write for the love of expressing ourselves, and to find out what we didn't know we knew. Over the years, this community has grown, shrunk, grown again. In 2010 I connected more deeply with two specific groups of writers, and I hope to continue those connections next year. Since I am taking some time off in 2011, I am open to exploring ways to stay connected online, not as a substitute to writing together in person, but as an outgrowth.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Making Stuff
Reverb's Prompt-a-Day Blog Challenge
December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)
I do like to make things. Years ago, I made many of my own clothes, knitted Christmas stockings for my friends' children, baked cakes and breads, canned vegetables, grew flowers, all the domestic stuff. (All while working full time, of course.) When I was in my teens, I liked doing collages just for fun. They weren't very artistic, but I enjoyed the process of making art. Since it wasn't practical, though, I didn't keep it up. (You can't wear a collage, you know.)
Now in my 60's, I feel very self-conscious when I sit down to make art, so I don't do it very often. A year or so ago, I tried my hand at art journaling for several months. It was fun, but the Practical Puritan in me kept reminding me that it had no purpose other than fun, so I eventually let it drop. I enjoyed messing around with paints and ephemera (catch word for all kinds of otherwise useless stuff), cutting things with scissors, gluing, and making an otherwise boring composition book look funky. I miss that. I need to put PP in her place and get my hands messy again. So what if it isn't practical?
December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)
I do like to make things. Years ago, I made many of my own clothes, knitted Christmas stockings for my friends' children, baked cakes and breads, canned vegetables, grew flowers, all the domestic stuff. (All while working full time, of course.) When I was in my teens, I liked doing collages just for fun. They weren't very artistic, but I enjoyed the process of making art. Since it wasn't practical, though, I didn't keep it up. (You can't wear a collage, you know.)
Now in my 60's, I feel very self-conscious when I sit down to make art, so I don't do it very often. A year or so ago, I tried my hand at art journaling for several months. It was fun, but the Practical Puritan in me kept reminding me that it had no purpose other than fun, so I eventually let it drop. I enjoyed messing around with paints and ephemera (catch word for all kinds of otherwise useless stuff), cutting things with scissors, gluing, and making an otherwise boring composition book look funky. I miss that. I need to put PP in her place and get my hands messy again. So what if it isn't practical?
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