Let Go

Reverb's Prompt-a-Day Blog Challenge

December 5 – Let Go

What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

This year I let go of my life-long habit of eating and drinking anything I wanted. Late in 2009 I began having severe symptoms of acid reflux. To make a long story short, I had to give up meat, dairy, sugar, refined foods, and stimulants (including decaf coffee and tea), because the meds couldn't keep up with the acid production. Did I mention tomatoes? I had to let go of tomatoes. That was sad. But not as sad as chocolate. That was the saddest. I lost bunches of weight and now weigh less than I did when I was 16.

Wonder

Reverb's Prompt-a-Day Blog Challenge

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

Read poetry everyday.

Watched the fawns grow from silken, spotted babies to adolescents over the summer.

Wrote with friends twice a week.

When walking the dog, took my camera with me and captured close-ups of mosses, bark, fungi, and insects.

Read poetry everyday.

Gazed at the moon.

Memorized "Autumn Sonnet" by May Sarton.

Watched the birds at the birdbath and feeders outside the kitchen window.

Read poetry everyday.

Cultivate a sense of wonder by slowing down. Stop long enough to notice your breath. That's pretty wonderful, and miraculous, too.

Moment

Reverb's Prompt-a-Day Blog Challenge
December 3 – Moment

Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

I've thought about this all day, but really don't want to write about it. The moment that sticks out most in my mind took place on January 12. It was after supper, and I was driving down Harding Road, on my way to St. Thomas Hospital. Just a few minutes earlier, I had gotten a phone call from my sister-in-law telling me that my older brother had had a brain aneurysm and was in critical condition. There was nothing I could do, but I was going anyway. Support for her, support for him, but mostly because staying at home would have driven me crazy. So, there I was, gripping the steering wheel and fighting back tears so I could see to drive. Praying, no, arguing and bargaining with God to keep my brother alive. Fear filled me, then acceptance of whatever was to come. Then I went into automaton mode, where every cell of my body fought to keep my brother alive while pretending to keep me alive. I was a woman divided.

Odd, isn't it, that fear and grief are what made me feel so alive...

Writing

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

One more thing. I think of one more thing that needs my attention before I sit down to write. Maybe it's unload/load the dishwasher. Or put in another load of laundry. Don't the plants need watering? What if I forget to make that all-important phone call after I finish my writing session? A friend of mine keeps Post-It notes on her desk so she can capture those distracting "must dos" without breaking her stride. I could try that. I can eliminate my "one more thing" obsession by making writing my priority instead of what I do after everything else is done...but I still like the "righteous" feeling that comes as I sit at my desk, listening to the hum of the washing machine.

One word

I'm sorta kinda participating in a prompt-a-day blog challenge, led by a group called #reverb10, designed to get you to "reflect on this year and manifest what's next." There's a different prompt author each day. When you sign up, you promise to post a response either on your blog or with a tweet every day for the month of December. (It doesn't have to be words--you can post pictures as well.) When I say sorta kinda, what I mean is that I didn't sign up officially, but I plan to do it. Or try to do it. I don't like to make promises I might not be able to keep, and with the way my life has been going, that's a real possibility. But the operative word is "try." So, here goes.

December 1 One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
(Author: Gwen Bell)

Change. There have been some major changes in my life this year, starting with my older brother's illness. In January he went from being an on-top-of-things banker to an invalid when a brain bleed--cause still unknown--struck him down. He's walking and talking now, but it's still a scary ride. Family dynamics are still changing, too.

Change. My health. 2010 was the year I went from size 12/14 to 6/8 without trying, thanks to acid reflux. The year I became mostly vegan/mostly macrobiotic out of necessity. I'm still getting used to myself.

Change. Water, water everywhere. The house didn't get flooded in May like so many in the area, but we have been dealing with moisture for months. As in, the roof still leaks and nobody can figure out where it's coming from.

Change. Inner, spiritual. I'm not sure what direction I'm beginning to move in, but change is definitely in the air. I'm taking a 9-month sabbatical from my poetry therapy work to explore it. More like a hibernation or a self-styled retreat. I'm curious. Stay tuned, she says to herself.

What word do I hope I will be able to say captures 2011? Balance. (Ha! I've been after that one for more years than I care to count.)

Opera Company of Philadelphia "Hallelujah!" Random Act of Culture

I can only imagine what it must have been like to have been shopping in this Philadelphia Macy's store, when all these trained singers, supposedly just shoppers, burst into song. What an amazing event. What an incredible idea. Gee, what if more of us randomly burst into song, or poetry, or other various hallelujahs? What if...

Ode to a young, just departed friend

Not much solace when a beautiful young friend dies suddenly. Andrea Morrison Baker was kind, loving, smart, had a great sense of humor, and brought grace into the lives of those whose paths she crossed. I am grateful to have known her for nine years. Feel cheated that she left so young: 37. She indeed left sweetness and substance in the world. Today I was astonished to read this poem posted on Patti Digh's blog, 37 Days. The poem says it all: "I love you. It will end." It is cold, but it is solace.

Cold Solace

-Anna Belle Kaufman

When my mother died,
one of her honey cakes remained in the freezer.
I couldn’t bear to see it vanish,
so it waited, pardoned,
in its ice cave behind the metal trays
for two more years.

On my forty-first birthday
I chipped it out,
a rectangular resurrection,
hefted the dead weight in my palm.

Before it thawed,
I sawed, with serrated knife,
the thinnest of slices —
Jewish Eucharist.

The amber squares
with their translucent panes of walnuts
tasted — even toasted — of freezer,
of frost,
a raisined delicacy delivered up
from a deli in the underworld.

I yearned to recall life, not death —
the still body in her pink nightgown on the bed,
how I lay in the shallow cradle of the scattered sheets
after they took it away,
inhaling her scent one last time.

I close my eyes, savor a wafer of
sacred cake on my tongue and
try to taste my mother, to discern
the message she baked in these loaves
when she was too ill to eat them:

I love you.
It will end.
Leave something of sweetness
and substance
in the mouth of the world.

Poem originally found here:
http://www.thesunmagazine.org/issues/417/cold_solace


Patti blog is here: http://www.37days.com/2010/09/poetry-wednesday-i-love-you-it-will-end.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+37days+%2837days%29&utm_content=Google+Reader